The first piece of it was dealing with my horrible migraines and PMS. The other piece was confronting my relationship with food and with my body. These two elements were often intertwined, sometimes working against each other and sometimes working synchronously. It took time and patience and lots of work, but I now feel both comfortable in my body and dedicated to nourishing it from a place of love and knowledge of what it needs. 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be smaller and lose weight. I usually never did much about it, but my relationship to food, my body, eating healthy, and exercise was always a mess. I occasionally tried to go on a diet and ‘be healthier’, but mostly I just criticized myself for what I thought was a lack of willpower, and tried not to think about how much I disliked what I saw in the mirror.

On top of this, in my early twenties I went on the birth control pill for the first time and started my first full-time job. I had always gotten the occasional headache, but the pill brought with it intense migraines, sometimes lasting 2-3 days and keeping me stuck in bed. The longer I was on the pill, the more the migraines intensified. They would happen almost every month, and would sometimes come with nausea and vomiting. I noticed that stress often brought on the worst ones.

At the start of 2020, I stopped taking the birth control pill.

Unfortunately, because the pill depletes many essential minerals in the body and can have an impact on the gut microbiome, the symptoms I was experiencing did not go away.

They got worse.

Then during the first part of the pandemic (after I’d gained a little of that sitting-around-my-house-drinking-wine-all-day weight) I went on the strictest diet I’d ever tried. I thought “Here we go, I’m FINALLY going to do what’s good for me and lose some weight and I’ll be so confident and skinny, it’ll be so worth it.” The diet I went on was VERY low calories and VERY low carbs. It was… horrible. Mentally draining, emotionally exhausting. At one point my period was even a few weeks late because I wasn’t eating enough to support my cycle—our hormones need carbs, ladies!! I gave up on that diet after a couple months.

Then somehow, I don’t even really remember how, I stumbled into the “anti-diet” corner of Instagram. At first I thought “hmm this is an interesting concept…” and I started following more anti-diet and body positive accounts. I read some anti-diet books and learned about intuitive eating and food freedom. It was liberating to have people say that there are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ foods, that we can love our body at any size, that there are so many things in life more important than pursuing thinness!

I felt like a weight lifted off of me as I immersed myself in the anti-diet world. I started eating things without guilt and eating whatever sounded good, whenever I was hungry. I made an effort to start loving my body, appreciating her, not wanting to change her, and it felt good. Really good.

But then after a while I wasn’t feeling my best anymore. I had swung too far to the other extreme, and wasn’t eating in a way that supported or nourished my body. I'd gained some weight, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it didn’t feel great. And then I felt guilty about being upset about it because I had done all this work to heal my relationship with food and my body. I felt like that meant that I wasn’t allowed to want to lose the weight I’d gained.

More important than the weight were the signs from my body that things weren’t right inside. My PMS and migraines were just as bad, my cycles were heavier, I experienced bad heartburn for the first time in my life. I felt awful.

I knew I had to do something, but my doctor’s only advice was simply to try a lower dose birth control pill or IUD. I quickly realized I was on my own. I knew the harmful side effects of hormonal birth control and became determined to not only heal the migraines and PMS I was experiencing, but also to learn the Fertility Awareness Method as a more natural form of birth control.

Then again, somehow, but I don’t remember the initial catalyst, I stumbled into the holistic nutrition/functional medicine/pro-metabolic corner of the internet.

Here, there were people talking about the benefits of eating whole, real foods, and how nourishing your body in a healthy way doesn't have to be restrictive or difficult. I learned which foods were important for hormone health, about balancing blood sugar, macro and micro nutrients, about the dangerous ingredients in our food and in our environment, the problems with the way our food is grown and produced, and so much more. I fell down the rabbit hole a little bit, in the best way.

I consumed an overwhelming amount of information. Slowly, I began making small changes to my diet and lifestyle, adding in supplements, trying to manage my stress. There were many times when it felt like none of it was working and that I would be stuck with migraines and horrible periods forever. It often felt like a chore, and like it would never be possible to stay consistent and truly be the healthiest version of myself. 

I wanted to live this way. I wanted to do everything possible to take care of this beautiful body of mine and feel as amazing as possible from now until I’m 95 years old.

Of course the way to nourish ourselves and feel our best is with whole, real foods. It was suddenly so obvious, and the thought of eating anything else seemed absurd. And it doesn’t have to be hard or scary or restrictive. In fact, now it feels like one of the easiest things I’ve ever done. It feels so incredibly right and true and aligned with how nature intended.

It’s almost indescribable. I had always felt like eating healthy meant sacrificing the enjoyment I got out of my food. Taking good care of myself and being healthy always felt like things I was 'trying to do', but now, finally, they feel like part of my identity. It no longer feels like I have to eat foods I don’t really enjoy as much as other foods for the sake of 'eating better'. I used to think to be really healthy I had to force myself to eat more salads (which I’ve never really enjoyed) or stop eating cheese (which I love so much) and that’s simply not true. Nutrition has become so fun and enjoyable for me, and I spend all day eating foods that I love!

Now, my diet largely consists of pasture-raised eggs and chicken, grass-fed beef, wild caught seafood, seasonal fruits and vegetables, bone broth, high-quality dairy, rice, fresh pressed juice, root vegetables, natural sugars like maple syrup and honey, high-quality bread, and more. I still eat some other ‘processed’ foods (like crackers and chocolate and Haagen-Dazs ice cream) but I’m very particular about the ingredients in those processed foods. I also believe that we are all bio-individual, and just because these foods make me feel incredible, doesn’t mean they’re all the right foods for everyone! The most important thing is to notice how you feel when you eat certain foods, and let that guide you.

I want to emphasize that I don’t think the anti-diet world or food freedom are bad.

There are so many benefits to getting rid of the strict diet mentality and the pursuit of thinness that hurts our mental health, so many benefits to healing our relationships with our bodies and with food and exercise. If I had tried to implement this new lifestyle without that piece of my journey, I don’t think it would have turned out this way. I probably would've given up eventually because it would've felt like just another diet. But I also don’t think that all intentional weight loss is bad anymore. I think there’s a right time and place for it, and a right way to do it. A way that’s nourishing, supportive, and abundant, rather than restrictive and fearful. Weight loss should never be the most important thing, but it's often a happy accident when you start to really take care of yourself in a way that feels joyful and simple and satisfying.

And I couldn't be more honest when I say I’ve never felt so satisfied with the foods I’m eating in my entire life. There’s no fear of carbs or fat or eating too many calories. There’s just balance and nourishment. I eat what sounds good and what makes me feel incredible. And yes, a little weight loss has been a happy side effect.

The truth is, there are ‘bad foods’. There are foods that harm us and cause disease, foods that are made specifically to keep us unhealthy. And why would we want to ingest things that we know are harmful to us? Why do we choose convenience or societal approval over our own well-being? If we're truly all about self-love, why don't we love ourselves enough to choose the things our body needs and avoid the things that hurt it? 

True healing takes time, patience, and consistency. And it’s absolutely worth it.

Eating this way didn’t cure my migraines and PMS overnight, but most months now my period arrives with no symptoms at all. So far this year I’ve had a few minor headaches, but no crippling migraines that last for days and no vomiting, thank goodness. My periods are easy, and I no longer dread the start of a new cycle. I feel more connected and in tune with my body than I ever have before.

As I went through all of this, I developed a growing desire to help other people feel as good as I was feeling. I wanted people to know how easy and amazing it can feel to nourish yourself well, to feel content with your body, to not feel dependent on pharmaceutical drugs or dread the start of a new cycle. That’s why I decided to become a health coach—to help people connect with their bodies, with nature, and with the food they eat. So often now it seems many of us just accept that we will always feel tired or stressed or unhappy or sick, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Everything we do—everything we say to ourselves, every food we eat, every choice we make—gives our body information about how we want to feel and live. My goal as a health coach is to help you learn to make choices that make you feel nourished, abundant, joyful, and empowered. I want to help you learn to truly thrive.